ABSENCE SHARPENS LOVE, PRESENCE STRENGTHENS IT.
I believe that there is immeasurable power in love and that true love can endure any circumstance and reach across any distance
This piece is dedicated to Osasere my darling friend whom I hope to meet soonest and to every single one out there struggling with long distance relationships. Thank you for taking out time to reach out and for the questions on long distance relationships you sent. Certainly and without doubt, you are thinking of getting into one or you are already in it. I am by no means a relationship coach and you may not like what I say but I think, Grace found me and I remain humbled and I am willing to be here anytime. Hopefully this will help others as well.
Relax, grab a seat and a glass of red wine- hahah it keeps your senses intact and let’s make this moment count. Meanwhile, you are loved beyond words and may the Lord bless you all the way.
Distance is not for the fearful but for the bold,
It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love,
It’s for those knowing a good thing when they see it even when they don’t see it nearly enough.
Absence is to love as wind is to fire,
It extinguishes the small and kindles the great.
Then I cried:
O wind and the clouds blow to where my loved one is,
Touch him then come visit me too for I will feel it deep through you
And meet his beauty in the sun and moon,
These things are much and more for the one who loves,
I sure can live with them alone that He and I breathe the same air and that the earth we tread upon is one
True love doesn’t mean being inseparable; it means being separated and nothing changes.
At one moment or the other in your relationship, you will realize this, one person has to move maybe because of school, a job or an opportunity and you both will certainly have to deal with it or lose it. Also, it may just happen that you both live in different cities or countries and we often times, think that long distance relationships are dead sentences but in essence, they are not although they can be frustrating sometimes.
Love knows no distance nor continent because, its eyes are for the stars.
Osasere my darling and others out there; you and your partner must:
- Believe in your relationship and believe that the other person is amazing. This comes with patience and trust and you must take a leap of faith with rules and boundaries:
Love will only travel as far as you let it. It has no limits.
- Schedule things to look forward to and work towards your future goals: Plan on your future activities, Plan on seeing each other. You both can decide to save up money for one person’s flight tickets. This in essence shows devotion and commitment: One day, just one day, the plane tickets will be one way.
Missing someone gets easier every day because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will.
For me, I usually fall in love with that one special person when we are together but even deeper when we are apart.
- Communicate your fears and your frustrations and don’t blame each other. Basically, learn to let it out at all times because:
Distance has the ability to break bonds, trust and push us further away from each other emotionally and it’s not okay till it’s okay – Let out the hard feelings.
- Being on the same page allows you know when to drop messages and when to call and it also helps avoid assumptions. It’s really not possible to reach out to each other spontaneously at the same time but make out time for each other because:
Assumptions are the termites of relationships.
Let each other in on your daily activities and share those moments of joy by taking pictures, sending details of where you are just so it brightens their day and gives them something to think about and hold on to.
- I certainly love this: Doing things together. Of course, you wished u hugged him/her every day but hey, that’s not possible and you must adapt yourself to it with joy by doing things together even when you are apart. Thank God for all the social media platforms. So, watch a movie together online, play online games, listen to the same music at the same time and above all never forget to pray together on phone and then relax and talk about it. Darling this is basically it:
-Relationships are not made in heaven. It takes support and if you asked me how many times that one special person crossed my mind, I’d say once because he never really left.
-The longer you wait for something, the more you appreciate it when it’s finally here because anything worth having is always worth the wait.
- Above all, embrace your own independence and focus on you: Build your own life and know that it’s okay for them to build theirs. Invest in yourself and don’t put yourself on hold. Step out, have fun but know at the back of your mind that there is someone out there.
For me, that one person’s picture is my screensaver on my phone so every time I swipe it open, I definitely know am looking at it and am not taking it down for anything in the world. You can do same- chuckling
I basically love hitting the gym every day after a busy day in the court room defending people or seeing a client and I invest in myself by doing that while being independent and focused.
- Having an end to the distance is key for you both. This gives you both hope to know that one day there will be no distance. It could be your wedding date, your engagement date or just something that makes you both hold on to.
My darling Osasere your name means God is Supreme and I love it so much because He is Supreme to have directed your path to that relationship or that particular person but hey, long distance relationships can be hard but it’s also incredibly amazing if you want it to be. This is also for someone out there struggling with this. I’m letting you in on my secret and I do hope it helps:
When you love someone from a distance, you are able to love them forever when you are together because every mile between you both is worth it. When you feel like giving up, remember why you’ve held on for this long. You didn’t get to this point to make a U-turn.
Never measure the distance but measure the love and let the thought of being with that one person tomorrow give you the strength to go on today.
This is a gift from me to you. Pen it down to that one special person via text or e-mail and you will be grateful you did.
I would rather spend time away from you and be able to still laugh with you, see you when I can, and live a happy life with you, than not see you at all for eternity. You bring so much joy to my life that I would never have experienced without you. One day, when the distance between us closes up and we can permanently wake up to each other for the rest of our lives, we will look back at this part and be glad that we went through this struggle together because the prize in the end: having you, is oh so worth it and I won’t trade that for anything in the world not even in the finest gold.
I’ll see you soon, and I can’t wait.
That special one with love even from miles and miles away.
I hope this helps you go through that long distance relationship with Joy and Hope in God. I pray the Almighty God blesses you both as you make it worthwhile and in every sacrifice you put into it through the precious name of our Savior Jesus. AMEN. I do hope to know how it gets along darling (links are below). Best of luck and my prayers are always with you darling.
Meanwhile, tag a friend to tag a friend, it just may be of help. Things can’t get worse than they already are, it only keeps getting better.
Barrister Lina Oben(Mayowa)